Help, Please? Need Some Advice.

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Help, Please? Need Some Advice.

Postby Anglachel Acres » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:27 pm

Hi all!

I don't know how much this belongs in the snark factory, but there isn't really anywhere better for it and it IS stressing me out to no end...

So, a little bit of back story... My dad passed away from brain cancer when I was sixteen (I'm twenty two now), and left behind me, my mom, and my younger sister (by two years). We aren't really close with my dad's side of the family, since none of them live anywhere near us at all, and the closest is over twenty hours away. My mom came from a small family, just her and her brother, who have also never really been close, although that's more his fault than hers (they live about two hours away).

My sister is now moved out on her own, so it is just me and my mother at home. I think we have a really close relationship, but that's what's making this so hard. She really doesn't like being on her own, and I do understand that. She's alright with me moving out, but we have a pretty symbiotic relationship at home. I pay her rent and do half of the chores in exchange for home cooked meals and not having to do laundry, lol!

Here's where this gets complicated... I bounced around in high school and university and I really had no idea what I wanted to do for a long time. Now that I've decided what to do, I really don't know how to tell her, let alone my sister or long-term boyfriend... After a lot of thought, I've decided that I want to enlist in the military. It's something I've thought about for years, but always got talked out of for one reason or another. I'm scared of my mom's reaction because I've seen how much she worries about my uncle, who's in the Air Force. I know that she wouldn't disapprove of me enlisting, but I don't know how to tell her. :/ Or everybody else... How do you tell somebody something like that, knowing that the reactions, while it won't involve yelling or screaming, won't be, well, good.

Help? Please? :/
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Re: Help, Please? Need Some Advice.

Postby ohmt » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:15 pm

As someone who had trouble deciding what to do with my life, congratulations on picking a path! I have regrets about not deciding to enlist. It brings with it many opportunities, especially school wise. I think it's an excellent start.
When I was younger and didn't know how to tell my parents something "big", I would write them a letter. It's hard for me to find the words I need on the spot...I need time to think and process without my emotions getting in the way (I am "sensitive" as my family likes to say--helpful in many ways, except when it overwhelms). Maybe write down exactly what you would like to say to her to help get your thoughts in order.
I don't know your mother, but I bet that she will be happy if you are happy. Tell her why you picked this path and tell her your exact worries (that you're worried about her).
I wish you all the best!
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Re: Help, Please? Need Some Advice.

Postby breyerhorses4life » Thu Jan 05, 2017 5:45 pm

I think you should just tell them why you have made this decision. Instead of just saying "I joined the military." Say something more like "I joined the military. Here's why...." If you give an explanation, they will most likely be more accepting.

I wish you luck!
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Re: Help, Please? Need Some Advice.

Postby Vendetta » Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:53 pm

My best friend joined the military and while I absolutely hated the time spent without her, it ended up being great for her in terms of money and educational/living benefits after she completed her service. Maybe when you're telling people about your decision, remind them of these awesome things that come from being part of the military? I know it made me feel better about her choice to enlist. She's able to go back to school now, she owns a home, all stuff that resulted from her service.

Also, it's just downright honorable. <3
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